how i wish i could just make these two disappear with just a snap of my fingers but the reality is it never goes down that way.
the confidence that i had spent years building has yet again crumbled down like a slippery landslide. i just have to rebuild it again, brick by brick except that i don't fucking know how exactly i'm going to do that. i'm out of tricks and my devices are all worn out and rusty.
true, all the things that happened to me have made me somewhat a stronger and more agile of a woman, i can't deny that but i have to admit, deep down inside, i never forgave them, not really. because they took my chance at happiness away from me.
i know, im sounding a little vengeful right now but you can't blame me for standing up for myself. after all, i am the victim here *hello?!*
 |
| there's even a mind map on revenge. how funny. |
two years back, a friend told me that she had a friend, whose name was similar to mine.
i asked, "is she like me?". inquisitive me.
and she said "no. she's pretty"
and curiosity had killed the inquisitive cat in me. i will NEVER forgive her for sayin such thing right to my face. i mean, what a bitch, she dared to criticise my looks. dude, i am pretty and beautiful just the way i am and it's just sad and pathetic you didnt see that. what a loser. kau tu bukannya cantik sangat, mulut macam hape je. reti nak mengumpat orang je. your soul reeks, man. jawabla ko ngan Tuhan nanti kenapa kau x pernah nak mintak maaf ngan aku. dont say i didnt warn you, bitch.
ok. im tired. until next time.
ps- "mama, kalau by fourth year kakak xde calon lagi, mama tolong carikan eh?"
" xyah menggelabah nak cari calon, duduk enjoy ngan mama and abah dulu la.."
*tears*
i just realised, we're all grown up now and the house mom and dad are living in, gets emptier each passing moment. i guess mama misses me. :)
