fly with me

while everybody else is scurrying towards their study desks, trying to make full use of every second left of these last few days before uni reopens, revising anything that needs revising, i on the other hand, simply spend my precious time idling away, sitting around on my laptop, enjoying good movies, and on top of that, reading page turning books. how easy breezy my life is.

there's an obvious reason why a study break is called such. we are supposed to work effingly hard before the break and when it's actually time to have some real break, we're not really supposed to be revising anything, right? i mean, dude, our brain needs some rest too. ever wonder why you stopped being creative? it's because you've been repressing it for far too long, studying your brains out. doesn't all study and no play make jack or whoever that is a dull boy? geez.

so i, avoiding my study desk and my piled up lecture notes, decided to finish reading this book that i bought like ages ago and it was just sitting in my bedside drawer in the company of other books that i haven't had time to even thumb through. the only books that i do have time to read are apparently all pharmacy related. i'm such a geek. i know that for a fact. so i decided to go out of my way and break the rules this once.

one of favourite past times is to eat a scoop of ice cream flooded with chilled mocha milk jot beautiful phrases down on a small notepad as i read along. it used to be like a revision thing for my high school english language exams but over time i've taken a liking for this thing. it's like my own personal heroine that gets me high and stoned. and yes, it's geeky but can i help it? no. besides, it's always been this longlife dream of mine to become a novelist or a writer someday. maybe someday. *but why the hell am i studying pharmacy, you might ask. that's to do with God. and i can't question His wills. He's simply just too powerful and mysteriously merciful. i know there's good in all of this. i might not see it now but He will show it to me eventually. i have faith in Him.*

this book outlines the story of a woman, travelling around the world, in her struggle to find the true meaning of life and the ultimate solution to the woes in her life. finally, i have somebody that i can be in the same boat with. but unlike her, i'm not involved in a relationship with anybody and i'm not travelling halfway across the world. i am simply constantly enveloped by recurring episodes of depression and sadness, and much like her, i'm trying my very best refraining myself from getting myself a prescription for antidepressants. drugs are my final resort. don't ever want to go down that road.

i have quite an assortment of friends, a huge collection of them but not a single soul knows the kind of things i have to shove up my sleeves to put a crooked smile on my face. it's either i don't trust them, or they're just too ignorant to even listen. i don't blame them. i'm not a good friend myself. never have a good opinion of my own friends. can't blame anyone for that. how my friends managed to put up with my tantrums all these years really is beyond me. i can't however thank them enough for sticking with me all this while. 

oh and if you had'nt noticed yet, i bought myself a ring! it just came in this morning and i'm loving it! my very own lucky star.