soal kahwin

terlupa. last month when i ws back in kelantan, i was bombarded with the same question, no matter where i went, no matter which way i was looking at. cousins, aunts, uncles. everybody kept asking the same question.

'abang abang dah nak kahwin. awak ni bila lagi?'

'awk ni dah ade boyfriend ke belum ni? asyik senyum je'

all i could give them was a shrug. betullah. how am i to know when i am gonna get married? i mean, bukanke jodoh tu Tuhan saja yang taw? how should i know?

in my extended family, there's only a few of us who choose not to be in a couple after leaving highschool. just a few. for me, it's because i don't want to toe the line that God has drawn for all of us.

ramai kawan tanye. 'you takde boyfriend eh?'


and the word 'no' slides out of my mouth effortlessly every time.


they say it's fun to be in a couple. we get to share our feelings, our likes and dislikes. we have a shoulder to cry on. we get to hold hands together.

but for me, bukan saja benda tu salah, but i'd rather have God as my companion. He never turns me away. He listens every time and i dont ever want my dependence on Him to ever diminish. ever.


soal hati. soal kahwin, bukan perkara main main. kalau kahwin bukan berlandaskan taqwa dan iman, takde maknanye. sorry aku tak berminat.


but if that person, sees beyond what stands before him and i the same, than rest assure, God will make it happen no matter what power comes in the way. after all,  He has the upper hand in everything.


i wish i could tell my aunts, uncles and cousins the reason why i havent found the right one yet, because God hasn't allowed to happen just yet.

jodoh, bukan perkara main main. it's half our deen. if it's gonna complete my religion, then i want God to pave the way for me. bukan aku tergedik gedik cari boyfriend.



no im not pious, not a perfect muslim, but if i could avoid crossing the line set by God Himself, then i'd try my hardest to fend off my nafs. its not easy, but never too hard, it's always UP TO YOU.



SAYA BUKAN SOMBONG, tapi saya takutkan Tuhan. that's all.