let's hum to the beat playing in the background

if you've got nothing better to say than just keep your mouth shut. i say what? nothing. okay. i'm bonkers that is a fact and i know. haha. it's been a long while since my last rant in here hasnt it? i dont want to kneel down or apologise or anything frankly because it's my prerogative to post updates in here whenever i feel like it.

God, i feel so exhausted. exams start the day after tomorrow.  feeling a little apprehensive, yes, but on the brightside, i'm a day closer to my flight home. cant friggin' wait anymore lah dude. sudah homesick tahap gaban. makan ta lalu, hape pun tak lalu la.

come to think of it, i feel like i'm at a crossroad again. nenek is gone, mom and dad are pretending as if they never had a crisis, i now have nobody to look out for me now that my big brothers are married, hence the chances of them coming home every so often are now very slim. thus, i dont know if i really do wanna go home after all. i mean, im homesick and all but in the end it all comes down to how much pain and anger i'm left with after all that has happened. i can only  keep them under the radar for so long but they're bound to resurface sooner or later because apparently i dont know how to make them disappear. funny. the person that walks around with a smile on their face turns out to be the person with the most anger hidden inside them.


how i miss my friends. the good old times.


please tell me this will all be over soon.


p/s: i bid you farewell a long time ago. my heart is void. again.