salam dear reader, may GOD bless us all on this fine day, insyaALLAH.
how have we all been? on my side, i've never been this great and i am enjoying my everyday at home, slacking off with my family ALTHOUGH I AM GROWING SIDEWAYS each passing day. gahahaha. life is going great, for now. at this point in time, after doing a small calculation i realised that i've got more or less 30 days until doom's day (2nd year of pharmacy is fast approaching. sigh.)
yesterday, mum and i had a day out together shopping *i wish!* getting some matters done. finally, i've successfully obtained my international driving permit. so now i can drive around in perth without cowering behind the wheel, feeling as if there's a cop car chasing after me. relieved, i am.
to those of you out there thinking about getting one, this thing is going to cost you rm 150 and the permit will only last for a mere one year. it's not really worth the amount paid but hey, it's my mum's money, not mine. hahaha. *thanks mama. love you *
voila. my international driving permit.
the reason why i pushed myself to blog today is because i wanted to come clean about something. it's the truth that rarely slips out of my mouth. i know i dont seem like what i sound in my blog when i am out and about in the real world. i am virtually a different person here, that, i have to admit. but i have to say that i am not always a different person entirely when i'm around my friends *close ones, that is* than i am with you, my readers.
sure, call me a hypocrite or anything but everybody's got some skeletons in their closets that they dont want people to find out about out there. admit it.
well newsflash, i've got mine too and one of them is, my temper and i've been too frequently abused by the people around me that i just dont think that i can keep it all to myself anymore. it's just too much. all these thoughts are too much of a burden to me and somehow or rather, i need to channel them out. and i'm doing it here.
i would'nt have done this if could help it.
other people go for counselling sessions, psychiatric evaluations etc. i just dont have enough money to do so. hence, the blog serves the purpose as my very own wall to lash out on.
my temper is my achilles heel. even the smallest matter can tick me off. i dont know if it's genetics but my parents have the same thing too. maybe genetics is a potential factor.
you have no freaking idea how hard it is trying to subdue my anger when it's fighting to get out so bad that my eyes well up with tears everytime i try to hold it in. how would you know, you never put yourself in my shoes.
the only two things that get me going everyday without making other people feel miserable because of my temper is God and our prophet's saying ; 'don't be angry, don't be angry, don't be angry'. thrice he said it, that just goes to show how imperative it is for us not let our anger overcome our sanity.
don't you dare say that my temper problem is just small potatoes. you have no idea.
you're lucky that i dont display my temper to you. no, scratch that. I AM LUCKY that i dont show my temper to you.i would be answerable to GOD for my bad attitude towards people if i had not exercised proper control of my temper. i am lucky that GOD gives me the strength and conscience not to easily lose it.
it's okay, smirk, or laugh all you want. i just want a clear conscience, that's all that keeps me going.
of course, i have to apologise if i ever come across rude, but somehow, i cant always control my words, and to the extremes, my facial expression, especially when i have multiple hormones raging through my veins. i am a woman. being difficult and complicated come with the whole package of being a woman. it's scientific not a fictitious concept.
ps- thanks for being my friends. thanks for putting up with me, for better or for worse.
